September 22, 2008
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September 20, 2008
Zhang Xiaoxia, 42, a resident of Minhang District, was glued to his TV screen during the recent Beijing and Paralympics. Neighbours were used to loud shouts of "JIAYOU ZHONGGUO!", "JIAYOU PING PANG DUI" or "JIAYOU LIU XIANG... aiyo..." from Mr Zhang at all hours of the day and night.
Since the Paralympics Closing Ceremony at the weekend, Zhang has been unable to break the habit. The Dazhong taxi company is considering banning Zhang from their vehicles: a spokesman explained "it is very distracting to our drivers when Zhang constantly shouts 'JIAOYOU SHIFU' on the gaojia, and 'JIAYOU HONGLUDENG' when waiting at a traffic light!
Zhang's wife is also becoming tired of the constant encouragement while she is cooking, applying her makeup, or on the toilet. 'JIAYOU ZHANG TAITAI!'
The bad news for his neigbours is that the noise may continue for two more years. Saturday saw Mr Zhang shouting 'JIAYOU HAIBAO' at a statue of the big blue 2012 World Expo mascot at the South Railway Station.
Since the Paralympics Closing Ceremony at the weekend, Zhang has been unable to break the habit. The Dazhong taxi company is considering banning Zhang from their vehicles: a spokesman explained "it is very distracting to our drivers when Zhang constantly shouts 'JIAOYOU SHIFU' on the gaojia, and 'JIAYOU HONGLUDENG' when waiting at a traffic light!
Zhang's wife is also becoming tired of the constant encouragement while she is cooking, applying her makeup, or on the toilet. 'JIAYOU ZHANG TAITAI!'
The bad news for his neigbours is that the noise may continue for two more years. Saturday saw Mr Zhang shouting 'JIAYOU HAIBAO' at a statue of the big blue 2012 World Expo mascot at the South Railway Station.
September 14, 2008
Do you hold strong views on topics you know little about? Have your friends suffered enough with your moaning? Starting this week, we will publish an opinion piece from readers when we feel like it, so if you feel like you've got something to get off your chest, email it to us at contact AT shangzilla DOT com and if its any good, we will change the name to our own and sell it to a proper magazine publish it under this column. This week, Shengnan Huang has a moan about Pecha Kucha:
Every so often, Creative, Artsy, Angsty, fashionable Shanghaiistas types get drawn out of their shelter and into a series of Tupperware Parties, also known as Pecha Kucha. What is heralded as 'creative chit chat' usually results in a shameless promotion of Chit Chatterers' website/business/design studio/flatulence. How avante garde!
Attendees attempt unsuccessfully to look more interested than they are whilst organisers muster their last shard of enthusiasm to introduce the next speaker. The unmistakable air of dismay hangs ominously as yet another Taikang Lu-esque shop keeper trots out photos of their wares while the audience thinks, I paid 40 kuai (+taxi to Home Depot) to listen to advertising?!
Going to Pecha Kucha is akin to going to Bar Rouge. Every time, you promise yourself it's the last time. But you find yourself there, hoping, nay yearning, to see something more. But alas, more often than not, vacuously leaves you wondering, what am I doing here?
Shanghai, with its multitude of interesting and colourful people, can surely amass a few passionate people to present more interesting topics, no? Perhaps commerce can be taken out of the equation and with more stringent vetting, it may indeed turn into the 'Salon' that was originally envisaged.
All views expressed by Opinionated writers are their own and do not indicate any official position taken by
Every so often, Creative, Artsy, Angsty, fashionable Shanghaiistas types get drawn out of their shelter and into a series of Tupperware Parties, also known as Pecha Kucha. What is heralded as 'creative chit chat' usually results in a shameless promotion of Chit Chatterers' website/business/design studio/flatulence. How avante garde!
Attendees attempt unsuccessfully to look more interested than they are whilst organisers muster their last shard of enthusiasm to introduce the next speaker. The unmistakable air of dismay hangs ominously as yet another Taikang Lu-esque shop keeper trots out photos of their wares while the audience thinks, I paid 40 kuai (+taxi to Home Depot) to listen to advertising?!
Going to Pecha Kucha is akin to going to Bar Rouge. Every time, you promise yourself it's the last time. But you find yourself there, hoping, nay yearning, to see something more. But alas, more often than not, vacuously leaves you wondering, what am I doing here?
Shanghai, with its multitude of interesting and colourful people, can surely amass a few passionate people to present more interesting topics, no? Perhaps commerce can be taken out of the equation and with more stringent vetting, it may indeed turn into the 'Salon' that was originally envisaged.
All views expressed by Opinionated writers are their own and do not indicate any official position taken by
September 4, 2008
As crowds gathered on Saturday to witness the opening of the long-awaited Shanghai World Finance Center (SWFC), one 5-year-old grabbed the attention of onlookers as he was the first visitor of the 100th floor viewing deck to say 'WOW'.
Wang Xiao Pang and his family may not have been the first people to arrive at the building site at 6:30am Saturday morning — that honor belonged to Chen Yin, always first in line for new attractions and inaugurations in Shanghai — but they were definitely the talk of town when Wang, the second person to reach the viewing deck, quickly ran to the window and shouted 'WOW'. The only words Chen Yin could muster, was a disappointing "aah".
"I thought about so many things I could say" answered Wang, when asked about his outstanding words, "but when I got up there all I could get out was 'WOW'". When asked by swarms of journalists what the other things were that he thought about saying, "wo de maya", "wo tiana" and "wo cao" were uttered by the brave little youngster. This was met with 'oohs' from the awe-inspired onlookers and and a slap around the head from Wang's stern mother, Mrs. Wang Hao Ma.
"He's a good boy, but he sometimes gets ahead of himself. We didn't think that we'd get so much attention, but it didn't surprise us really as Xiao Xiao was the first person to say 'grrrr' to a tiger in the zoo." The imitation of a tiger's growl lead to much uproar from society in 2006, when Wang was merely 3 years old, as it caused a giant stampede to the Tiger's Cave in Shanghai zoo when many visitors thought the child was either challenging the tiger to a fight or that he had been raised by tigers and was actually talking to the big cats in the cages.
Zhang Chang Lou, director of tourist attractions at the SWFC was almost in tears when asked to comment on the young one's words. "He is a true ambassador of the Chinese spirit, even better than Liu Xiang. We plan to put a copper plaque with his name and the word 'WOW' engraved onto it at the viewing deck for everyone to witness."
"I don't know what I will say next and where," Wang stated after he was asked where he plans to say something amazing again, "I don't plan these things ahead of time, they just happen." However, hordes of netizens have speculated that the little boy might say something cute during the 2010 World Expo or closer yet, during the opening ceremony of the Paralympics.
Wang Xiao Pang and his family may not have been the first people to arrive at the building site at 6:30am Saturday morning — that honor belonged to Chen Yin, always first in line for new attractions and inaugurations in Shanghai — but they were definitely the talk of town when Wang, the second person to reach the viewing deck, quickly ran to the window and shouted 'WOW'. The only words Chen Yin could muster, was a disappointing "aah".
"I thought about so many things I could say" answered Wang, when asked about his outstanding words, "but when I got up there all I could get out was 'WOW'". When asked by swarms of journalists what the other things were that he thought about saying, "wo de maya", "wo tiana" and "wo cao" were uttered by the brave little youngster. This was met with 'oohs' from the awe-inspired onlookers and and a slap around the head from Wang's stern mother, Mrs. Wang Hao Ma.
"He's a good boy, but he sometimes gets ahead of himself. We didn't think that we'd get so much attention, but it didn't surprise us really as Xiao Xiao was the first person to say 'grrrr' to a tiger in the zoo." The imitation of a tiger's growl lead to much uproar from society in 2006, when Wang was merely 3 years old, as it caused a giant stampede to the Tiger's Cave in Shanghai zoo when many visitors thought the child was either challenging the tiger to a fight or that he had been raised by tigers and was actually talking to the big cats in the cages.
Zhang Chang Lou, director of tourist attractions at the SWFC was almost in tears when asked to comment on the young one's words. "He is a true ambassador of the Chinese spirit, even better than Liu Xiang. We plan to put a copper plaque with his name and the word 'WOW' engraved onto it at the viewing deck for everyone to witness."
"I don't know what I will say next and where," Wang stated after he was asked where he plans to say something amazing again, "I don't plan these things ahead of time, they just happen." However, hordes of netizens have speculated that the little boy might say something cute during the 2010 World Expo or closer yet, during the opening ceremony of the Paralympics.
August 30, 2008
Shanghai expatriate Ben Bryant ended up with less than he bargained for after complaining to colleague Shaun Fang about Chinese people spitting on the street. "If I could have one kuai every time I saw someone spitting, I'd be a rich man" claimed Bryant.
Fang agreed to pay up, but to Bryant's surprise, he didn't encounter as much spitting as he'd previously recalled. Indeed by the end of the first week, Fang had given Bryant just three kuai. "Goddamit!" complained Bryant. "When I came to Shanghai I was sure I would be walking through a river of phlegm. How dare China not live up to my stereotypes?"
Fang agreed to pay up, but to Bryant's surprise, he didn't encounter as much spitting as he'd previously recalled. Indeed by the end of the first week, Fang had given Bryant just three kuai. "Goddamit!" complained Bryant. "When I came to Shanghai I was sure I would be walking through a river of phlegm. How dare China not live up to my stereotypes?"
August 29, 2008
Editor Dan Wasburnt pulled off a clever double-bluff in a recent article for the popular Shangzilla.com blog on Friday afternoon. Dan explains "I headlined an article 'Dan Wasburnt loves pussy', knowing that world-weary websurfers would spot the double entendre, and expect to see a get an article about my cat Fluffykins. Instead, they got a big picture of a woman's vagina. LOL!!! NSFW!!!"
Wasburnt has been known to court controversy in the past, and will generally stop at nothing to put tits on the home page.
Wasburnt has been known to court controversy in the past, and will generally stop at nothing to put tits on the home page.
August 26, 2008
A spectacular closing ceremony brought the 2008 Beijing Olympics to a close at the weekend, but officials monitoring the air quality in Olympic cities warned residents against giving a huge sigh of relief. "While the air quality in Beijing has improved, there are still large quantities of particulates and sulphur dioxide in the air in both Beijing and Shanghai" warned Fei Changxiao, the diminutive head of China's Air Quality Inspectorate. "Therefore it is important to avoid deep sighs to ensure healthy lungs."
"Jiayou pollution control measures, Jiayou Zhongguo" he added.
"Jiayou pollution control measures, Jiayou Zhongguo" he added.
August 12, 2008
The Beijing Olympic Games Organising Federation announced a rule-change Tuesday to ensure Michael Phelps will be counted as a separate country. "Phelps has already won three medals for the USA, and is threatening to win several more" explained a BOGOF spokesman. "This really can't do! Jiaoyou Zhongguo!".
A new, more harmonious medal table was published on the BOGOF website earlier. China are now well in the lead. After Phelps' medals are subtracted, USA fall to third place in the official standings behind Korea, while Phelps is single-handedly ahead of Russia and Great Britain.

A new, more harmonious medal table was published on the BOGOF website earlier. China are now well in the lead. After Phelps' medals are subtracted, USA fall to third place in the official standings behind Korea, while Phelps is single-handedly ahead of Russia and Great Britain.

August 8, 2008
Shangzilla's diary for 8th August 2008:
Went for a walk on the Bund, ate a few tourists. Nothing decent on TV.
Went for a walk on the Bund, ate a few tourists. Nothing decent on TV.
August 4, 2008
Work on Shanghai's Metro Line 7, due to open in 2009, has been delayed as workmen have run out of paint for station signboards. The problem centres around 乒乓叮当 哈哈大王贴着脚地占着鞋底路 or Pingpangdingdanghahadawangtiezhejiaodizhanzhexiedi Road Station, the name of which requires more than the expected amount of red paint on station maps and signs.
Xiao Zhang, the 'voice of the metro', has also demanded a 20% increase in her fee for recording announcements for the new station, leading to fears of a budget overrun. "After a day's work saying 下一站,乒乓叮当 哈哈大王贴着脚地占着鞋底路,下车乘客请提前做好准备,从左边车门下车, I'm really tired!" Zhang explained.
Zhang exclusively previewed the new announcements for Shangzilla. Listen to the announcement (mp3).
Zhang also explained why the voice on China Telecom's 10086 helpline is so incomprehensible. "They wouldn't pay my usual fee, so I put a ping-pong ball in my mouth before doing the recordings."
Xiao Zhang, the 'voice of the metro', has also demanded a 20% increase in her fee for recording announcements for the new station, leading to fears of a budget overrun. "After a day's work saying 下一站,乒乓叮当 哈哈大王贴着脚地占着鞋底路,下车乘客请提前做好准备,从左边车门下车, I'm really tired!" Zhang explained.
Zhang exclusively previewed the new announcements for Shangzilla. Listen to the announcement (mp3).
Zhang also explained why the voice on China Telecom's 10086 helpline is so incomprehensible. "They wouldn't pay my usual fee, so I put a ping-pong ball in my mouth before doing the recordings."
